computer talk is really dirty talk

did you ever think that quite possibly computer lingo was invented by sex addicts? i think that is why computer talk is filled with sexual innuendo. what am i talking about? well, let me decipher some of the dialogues you've probably overheard and you thought they were talking about their computers:

computer guy: i have just installed a new hard drive. do you wanna check it out?
what he really means is: i have a serious erection going on down there wanna help?  ;)
cyber chick: wait until you see the new software i have installed, it needs an external drive to run!
translation: the new underwear i have on DEmands a second round!

here's another one:

computer guy: I've updated my computer, do you want to pair our laptops for that new game we were talking about?
translation: I've learned one or two new positions we could try out if you're up for it!
computer girl: my computer is unavailable at the moment, it's on disk defragment.
which means: I've got my period.

or:

cyber dude: hey, why don't you turn on your WI-fi so that we can go on line?
meaning: why don't you take your clothes of so we can get it on?
cyber chick: hey you know my disk needs to go on disk cleanup.
which means: hey i have something and i probably gave it to you as well, so we both need to take a pill for about a week.

and:

cyber guy: i never go on line without firewall protection.
translation: i never have sex without a condom.
cyber girl: hey me neither i always have my anti-virus activated.
she means: if it's kids you're worried about I'm on the pill.

as well as:

cyber dude: I've got lots of gadgets and accessories for my laptop.
he's saying: i have a shit load of sex toys baby.
cyber chick: me too, but i have a gadget you've never seen! it's massively awesome!
she means: I've got a 40 cm vibrator with seven speeds. your accessories leave me unimpressed.

lastly:

cyber dude: we need to customize your desktop.
meaning: how's about a boob job, I'd like them bigger.
cyber dudette: i think we need to personalize your control panel instead.
which means: i think is better if you get a penis enlargement.